Skinny Shaming and Dealing With It

Ugh! sounds weird isn't it because "skinny shaming Hota kya hai?" While most think being skinny is the easiest thing and skinny people are adored and blest... an honest conversation with a skinny person could be an eye-opener to many.

Flat 60%... well that's exactly what a 14-year-old told me a couple of days ago. At first instance, I did not make much of it and looked at her for an explanation of what she meant, and was left aghast when she actions me what she meant.

While I process that, it dawned on me as a matter of fact, how as a society we set standards of perfection as per convenience, the right figure, perfect hairstyle, the length of your nails, shape of your eyebrows every single thing has a set definition and we are unmindful of how we have been passing that on to our kids, who adult way ahead of their age and deal with diet charts and skin appointments rather than Playdates.

Well, for me personally, weight gain has always been a struggle, from eating junk food out for months to stuffing myself with food every two hours, ensuring I was eating right to trying protein powders I tried everything possible so people would stop constantly telling me how skinny I was.

With siblings and cousins my age who seemingly have societal perfect figures (which by the way changes apne hisab se) the pressure to fit into that category was burdening me mentally.

Every family get together never passed without me being reminded at least thrice or even more by a random stranger (well, of course, coz apna hak hai) perhaps some distant relative and sometimes my close family as well, telling my parents or me "OMG how cute and chubby you were as a kid and why have you lost weight now? (hum toh baade hote nahi an)."

While I passed that off with a laugh, it was something that constantly played at the backend in my head, as I grew older it began annoying me and I developed an inferiority complex as compared to peers my age.

I was made to believe that a "Girl" was "Woman" only when she had the right body proportion on her chest and her back and was made to feel inferior for not having the right body figure among my cousins.

The first time inferiority hit me when I was on my way to college for an event draped in a saree and had to stop by at a family house wherein a flash of a second a statement like " Chathi Chapati" was passed and that to this day rings in my head for it has been repeated multiple times since.

To this day I regret not standing up and shutting them up right then. Because I thought to myself they must be right I do not really fit in to be a part of my supposed family because I don't have the right figure.

This emotionally exhausted me and I began doing everything I could to gain weight more out of desperation to overcome my complexity and feel one among them. I grew to dislike myself and lost interest in getting ready and I decided I had to divert myself from self-hatred lest I ended up into a dark space, and I got into sports, that was one place I did not have eyes judging the physical appearances and it made me happy.

While I channelled myself into sports and kept myself busy the skinny shaming never stopped, in fact, it grew at various events and places possible.

And one day, the trigger pulled when I faced the same comment from the same person right in front of my friends, which embarrassed me.

I was physically mocked at and emotionally tormented with the actions being shoved into my face, it embarrassed my friends who thought I was stupid for not having retaliated and I had decided it was enough... enough that I allowed people to talk and judge me, enough being called out, enough trying to be someone else to fit into their circle. Thankfully I am blest with the best parents and friends who came in support and helped me get things across subtly.

Well, most of us have either been body-shamed or seen people and celebrities get called out for being overweight or their personal choices.

While fat-shaming as a long seen process has been perceived among crowds all over with various perceptions and supporters, it wasn't until lately celebrities like Smriti Khanna, Mouni Roy and Gigi Hadid were called out for being too skinny or getting in shape too quickly after delivering a kid that people learnt of skinny shaming.

Rarely do we realize Skinny Shaming is the most unnoticed or unspoken sect of body shaming. Unmindful statements like "oops... hold her she may fly away the wind is too strong" or "don't your parents give you enough to eat why are you so skinny? "or even better the gossip of being diagnosed with a major illness is what may seem just as regular, but nobody except the person getting to listen to that knows the effects mentally, emotionally and physically.

Being told, "oh gosh you eat so much, yet your skinny" "you don't eat enough, that's why you're skinny" " even though you eat, you're not eating the right way... that's why you're skinny" it isn't fun, we do not like being called skinny.

No, it definitely is NOT OKAY for you to decide how our body metabolism should work and how we should look. We are happy and love the way we look and we wouldn't want you to tell us otherwise. We aren't here to impress you but to live as freely as you do.

Well, for most of you that want to know if that comment stopped with it... not really! I still get that occasionally and I have learnt to ignore it because you just cannot change the mindset of people.

I decided this had to stop and people had to understand that it is definitely not okay to call out skinny people or be sarcastic about their appearances. It pushes us into self-hatred and much worse many people don't know how to deal with it and get suicidal, as for me I was fortunate my parents and friends never thought I was unfit or skinny and encouraged me to channel myself into something where I could vent without being judged and I began believing in myself again and began discovering my talents in the process of learning about myself.

If you are reading this and happen to meet someone who as per society is skinny do me a favour, walk up to them and tell them, hey, you look beautiful or just smile. But if you think you wanna compliment " you look skinnier than the last I saw you" just don't do it rather do them a favour and don't talk to them.

If you are someone who gets called skinny way too often I know what you feel but trust me when I say this ACCEPT YOURSELF trust me, know your flaws, own your quirks and it will reflect out of you, find your talent explore yourself, stop giving in to peer or relative pressure of fitting into perfect figures, You are beautiful the way you are and trust me you wouldn't wanna have it otherwise. Be upfront open and shut people when they tell you, how skinny you are or make you feel inferior, stop worrying about fitting in when you were born to stand out and you will be surprised at how beautiful things around you are.